If you love someone
by Flashsil
Summary: Peter and Assumpta are together, but no one is supposed to know. One day she just disappears.
1. chapter 1

"Hello, is this Brendan Kierney speaking?"

"Yes it is."

"Okay, I'm Dr Quinn from Mater Hospital in Dublin. Would you be related to Assumpta Fitzgerald by any chance?"

Brendan was starting to get worried. "Ah, sorry, no I'm her old school teacher. I'm the closest thing you'll find to a relative though as she hasn't got any family left. Has something happened to her?"

"She was the victim of a hit and run and was brought in unconscious with a rather serious head injury. We've had to perform an emergency caesarian. Luckily the baby was almost full term and it's doing great. Going through her things we found your name and phone number and a photo of her and a young man, maybe the father. So we assumed it was you on the photo, but if you were her teacher then I guess it must be someone else."

A baby, Brendan thought puzzled. It had been 7 months since she left BallyK. So she must've been pregnant when she left. But how, who? Leo had been gone for over 6 months before that, so there was no way he could be the father. No one had heard from her since.

"I'm afraid she's been gone for quite some time. I don't think anyone knew about the baby. She used to run the local pub. We were all devastated when she just vanished. As far as I know she wasn't seeing anyone. We've searched for her everywhere we could think, but to no avail."

"Could you come over? We think it will be good for her to see a familiar face when she wakes up."

When Brendan put the phone down, he realised he didn't even know if the baby was a boy or a girl. He tried to reach Siobhan. When she didn't answer, he left a message on her answering machine. Then he walked up to Peter's house.

"Hi, Brendan, come in," Peter said.

"I think you'd better sit down for what I'm about to tell you." Brendan looked really concerned.

Peter was shocked, but relieved at the same time that they finally knew where Assumpta was. Peter stood up and walked towards his desk. He opened the drawer to take out an envelope that had his name written on it and handed it to Brendan.

"I kept silent about it all this time, but she left this for me. You can read it now."

Brendan started reading.

Dear Peter,

The past 6 months have been the happiest of my life. You and me together, at last. What I feel for you, I've never felt for anyone else. There's just one thing missing, we can't tell anyone. I'd like to shout it from the rooftops, but I'm not allowed to do so. It would mean you can no longer be a priest. I just can't do that to you, because you're the best this village has ever had. There's something I can't tell you. I don't know how to handle it. All I know is that I need to protect you and I can only do that by leaving. Believe me, it's the last thing I want, but I have no choice. I won't say goodbye, because I just need to sort myself out. Please take care.

I love you with all my heart,

Assumpta

Clearly touched, Brendan put down the letter and looked at Peter.

"Peter, you're my friend, you could've confided in me. Do you think I would've judged you? There's nothing wrong with loving someone. Everyone's entitled to a bit of happiness.You've nothing to be ashamed of."

"I know Brendan. I'm not. It's just from what she wrote I gathered she would be back here one day. I just felt we needed to sort it all out between ourselves first. I spent every free waking moment searching for her, not to mention all the sleepless nights I had thinking about where she could've gone. I just couldn't bring myself to stop hoping I would find her some day. We never discussed having children, but I guess I had decided for myself from the beginning, that if it ever came to it then I would give up the priesthood."

Brendan understood.

She woke up to the beeping sound of a heart monitor and her head felt like someone had hit her with a hammer. How did I end up here, she wondered. When she touched her belly, a wave of panic shot through her. "My baby, where's my baby," she cried.

A nurse came rushing into the room. "You were run over by a car while crossing the road. You've got a beautiful daughter and she's doing fine. You will be okay yourself too, with a bit of help and lots of love and care. You were both very lucky. You must have quite a guardian angel. "

"So I've got a daughter," she asked, still taking it all in. "Where is she, when can I hold her?"

"As she was born a few weeks early, we put her in the neonatal unit. We'll take you up there shortly."

Nothing could describe the overwhelming feeling of happiness and relief when her tiny warm baby bundle was placed into her arms. It felt weird, unreal too. The last thing she remembered was feeling the baby kicking inside her, before she lost consciousness. And now, having missed out on everthing that happened in between, she was holding it. This was not how it normally went. Even though they both were alright, it would take quite some time to process it all.

Her sore head felt so much better all of a sudden. Cuddling her beautiful little girl was the strongest painkiller she could possibly get. "You're gorgeous and I'm so proud to be your mum," she whispered softly, kissing the baby's rosy cheeks and marvelling at the huge amount of dark hair on her head. The infant had her eyes wide open and seemed to recognise her mother's voice. Assumpta would have to wait a few months before she could see whose eyes she had, hers or Peter's, or maybe a bit of both. All of a sudden she was overwhelmed by a feeling of loneliness. God, how she missed him. With tears running down her face she promised her daughter, they would go back home to Ballykissangel so she could get to know her daddy. "He's the sweetest person, you'll ever meet. I know he will love you just as much as I do." As she was so wrapped up in the baby, she hadn't noticed the two people watching them teary eyed from a small distance. Brendan decided it was time for Peter to come forward. "Go on," he said, giving him a soft nudge."Your family needs you." Quietly he walked towards Assumpta's bed. All at once she seemed to feel his presence and looked up through blurry eyes right into his. She swallowed a lump in her throat. A bandage covered the substantial cut just above her left eye. Coincidentally it was the same spot where she'd been hit by a stone that day she had sought refuge in his church during the fair. He remembered cleaning and bandaging her wound very clearly. It was the first time he had touched her and realised she was becoming much more than just a friend to him. One night, wrapped in eachother's arms in bed, she confessed it felt exactly the same to her. That was why she acted and responded so fiercely, to hide her true feelings and to prevent herself from acting impulsively.

The doctor had already told him she also had concussion, a few cracked ribs and bruises all over her body. Despite all that, he realised they really should thank their lucky stars. He reached out for her face and then gently kissed her on the lips. No words were needed. He laid himself half down on her bed and carefully wrapped his arms around Assumpta and their little girl. He softly fondled the baby's cheeks with his thumb and then touched one of her tiny hands. She immediately held on to his index finger. It all felt so surreal, he could hardly believe it. Until a few hours ago he thought he'd lost all he held dear and now he had found everything. A kind of peace overtook them, they belonged together and no force on earth would ever split them up again.


	2. Chapter2

"Why did you run," Peter asked a few hours later in her room. He realised he had to be gentle as not to upset her, but there were so many unanswered questions playing in his head.

She took a deep breath. She didn't know if she was up to telling the whole story yet, but she felt she really owed him an explanation. "When I found out I was pregnant I was shocked at first. I thought we'd always been careful, but I guess even then there's always a chance, however small. When it finally sunk in I got scared, I'd never been so frightened in my life. And my mind told me to get the hell out of BallyK."

Peter frowned, he didn't understand.

"What were you afraid of, not me surely," Peter enquired, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer to that.

She shook her head. "No, of course not, not you. I was afraid for you, for me, for us. This would ruin your life. People would judge you. You were their perfect priest. I thought they would believe I'd lured you into my bed and led you astray, that I'd got pregnant on purpose. So you'd feel you had to do the decent thing and leave the priesthood. That I'd planned it all. People would hate me for stealing you from them and they would hate you for being weak. Worst of all I feared they would hate my baby and so I believed I could only leave, to spare you and our child. Because no matter how scared I was, I knew from the beginning I wanted to keep the baby and I would love it, as it was also part of you, the person I loved and stil love like I've never loved anyone else. I swear I didn't plan for this to happen, but it certainly wasn't unwanted."

"Where did you go?"

"I phoned my aunt Helen in Cork. I only told her I needed a break and wanted to visit since it had been so long. She's my mum's sister. She's always been someone I could count on. And if there was one person in the world who would understand my situation, it was her. You see at the age of 18 she got pregnant, unwanted. Luckily my grandparents stood by her and helped her in anyway they could. They didn't force her into making any rash decisions and she eventually decided she would become a single mum. Despite the support, she had a very tough time. And of course it wasn't easy for my grandparents either. When my cousin Laura was one year old, my aunt decided to move to Cork, to start over where no one knew them. A few months later Helen met my uncle Henry who accepted Laura as his own daughter. So in the end it was all is well that ends well for her."

"When I was run over I was on my way to catch the bus to go home, to you. I promised aunt Helen I'd ring her as soon as I got home. Oh God, she'll be worried sick by now," Assumpta panicked.


End file.
